Magic. It’s All Magic. 

Does anyone think about shit anymore? I’m not even talking Socrates and Hawking shit, just regular life shit. Like how televisions or radios work. Or why every time you shop on Amazon that same stuff shows up on your Facebook feed. Basic stuff like vehicle maintenance and what APR stands for; how to calculate sales tax or read a P&L. How about government? Something other than what Bey’s going to name her kids or the new season of OITNB. I’m fairly certain the overwhelming majority hasn’t had an original thought since deciding to eat paste in pre-school. 

Speaking of Socrates, can you imagine what  he would think?  How about DaVinci or Plato or even our Grandparents? We have more information at our fingertips than any generation in the history of our world, yet nobody cares. We aren’t pondering life’s mysteries. We don’t wonder about anything. If we do, we certainly aren’t trying to learn it voluntarily. This generation will go down as the most educated group of morons the world has ever seen. Seriously, what kind of parent sends a child into the world like this? 

“Just go ahead and give me your signature here and here.”

“I, I don’t have one.”

“One what?”


” You don’t have one. What don’t you have?”

“A signature.”

You have got to be fucking kidding me. Is this real? Where are your parents? I’m calling someone.

“Okay. How did you sign, I mean, write your name on your drivers license? You do have a license, right?”

“Oh yes! I can drive!”

Fuck. Me.

“May I see it, please? Your license?”

Don’t even ask. Just tell him to write it the same. Don’t ask. Don’t fu…

“So what exactly were you referring to? The signature?”

“I mean, uh, I don’t know what it’s called. My Grandma writes all swirly.”

Don’t do that with your face. It’s not his fault. It’s not his fault. It’s not his fault. 


“Yeah, that’s it. I can’t do that.”

Move on. Just let it go.

“Just need your banking information and you’ll be set to go.”


Stop it. Be nice.

“Okay, I’m going to need the account number and routing number.”

“Is that on my card? Do you mean my ATM code?”

Oh honey. 

And it’s not just Millennials, the Boomers are just as willfully ignorant on important topics. They may know how to balance a checkbook, but when it comes to information, they might as well be infants.

“I got your nose!”

Think about this for a moment, Facebook, yes Facebook, has accepted a role in the outcome of the presidential election. Facebook. They’ve vowed to tighten their policies surrounding ‘fake news’ because God fucking forbid we research some shit on our own! That’s way too much effort, I’ll just go ahead and share this Onion article with my church group friends. 

What about emotional intelligence? Why am I such a douche? I wonder why I can’t spend five minutes without a cock in my mouth? Or why I need a BAC three times the legal limit before I can express myself? Nope. Not interested. It’s too hard. 

The worst part? We don’t know. We consider so little about the world around us, we have no idea. We are fucking idiots and we don’t even know it. 

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