We’re Doing It Wrong

Everything we think we know about dating is wrong. You’re wrong. I’m wrong. Let’s all just get the fuck over it and be wrong together. Say it with me, “We are wrong.”

There’s not a single fucking reason anyone should wait 3 days or in Sleeves’ infinite wisdom, 2 weeks, for a follow-up call. There’s just not. It’s stupid. It defeats the whole purpose.

Don’t believe me? Try me. No seriously, try me. Take me to dinner, pique my interest, and then see what happens when you call me two weeks later. 

“Go fuck yourself, Sir”. 

Hard pass. I am 100% off that program. Why? Because one of two things have happened, either you weren’t that interested in the first place, but two weeks later, you’re bored and I’m a temporary alternative or you’re too stupid to deviate from your predetermined timetable and I don’t do stupid. 

I understand the methodology, if you appear too eager, it will be too easy and they’ll lose interest. Yep. Yes. That’s going to happen. WITH THE WRONG PERSON. 

With the right person, the person who we’re supposedly searching for, there’s no such thing as too eager because they like you back. They’re hoping, wishing, in some cases praying you’ll call. Why? Because they like you as much as you like them. Why would we want anything other than that? I cannot remember ever being happy knowing I was giving everything while the other person was just phoning it in. Unless you are a fuckboy or a hoe, that’s why we date. We dress up, spend money, and risk awkward conversations in order to find our person. Our partner. Our teammate. So why the fuck would we settle for anything less than that? 

Why the hell would we want our person to question our affection for them? No one does that. I want my person to know I love them or I’m there for them or I’m on their team. I don’t know what kind of monster made these rules, but they’ve clearly never been in a healthy relationship. 

It doesn’t always work out. It just doesn’t, but I promise, it isn’t because you called the next day. It’s just not. And it’s sure as fuck not because you were ‘too nice’. That’s a myth. It’s not real. There’s no such thing. It’s a coping mechanism for guys who chase after girls who aren’t right for them. When she ends up dating a douchebag, they can’t wrap their heads around it. She’s not the one. Her values are different. She had an absentee father. Whatever. Either way, she’s not the girl. 

I know. I have that guy in my life. If you were to ask him why we haven’t dated, he’d tell you it’s because he’s just too nice. He’s wrong. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether he’s too nice or too available. I’m not the one. We have nothing in common and zero connection. If I were interested romantically, if I wanted him in my life in that capacity, he better be nice to me. I would want him to call. And guess what? If he didn’t, I’d call him. If it freaked him out, if it were too much, I certainly wouldn’t blame myself for being too fucking nice. He’s just not the guy. 

2 Replies to “We’re Doing It Wrong”

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